Hello People!!
I know its been AGES since i've updated this dead blog.
Hmm currently doing C.S homework(cam phm).
Seriously i am rotting at home. All I've been doing is eat,eat,listening to music and sleep. Haha pathetic right. But still I only grow by 1 cm and did not gain any weight..if only I'm 160 cm..hah
I have nothing much to tell except this few days has been a hard time for me. Family problems here and there..how am i supposed to concentrate on my studies.
At times i really wish to stop schooling,but when i think back,what will happen to my future if i dont have any education.
I would like to grow up fast,make my own living. I can't tolerate any more nonsense at home. My brain is about to explode. If only I knew hot to let go of all the feelings that had been buried for long. Its really painful.
Last Tuesday,something bad happened to me. This incident really broke my heart.
Early in the morning,i felt weak and thought of not coming to school,but i do not want to miss any lessons. Around 7.45 am,the whole school have to take their temperature and i was shocked that my body temperature was high,38.4 deg cels. Retook again and the temp drop to 38.3. So went to infantry B and had a mask put on and temperature had to be taken again. so far I've taken 4 times. Called my dad and got a permission to go home on my own. I walked all the way to home and was so exhausted. Change clothes,switch on television and went to sleep. I had a really good rest. On the evening,i didn't eat dinner as i have no appetite,so tag along with my mother and brother to Tampines mall as the wanted to buy new phone. It was a long queue. I was so Jealous that my brother got a new phone ,haiz maybe nest time will be my turn. okay,went home at 11pm,and got to know that my dad was not in a good mood. I went straight to the bathroom and take wudhuk. went o my room to pray and suddenly my dad enter and scolded both my sister and I. He ordered us to surrender our phone to home and put it at the living room. While he was counting to 3,i quickly took out my sim card and surrender my phone. and the conversation start:
Dad: kau kasi handphone kau semua letak kat luar!
Me: Farah nya hp yang lagi satu ayah da pecahkan pe yang fatin pakai tu.( i think i'd raised my voice)
My dad got mad and took my phone with him
Dad: oh kau tinggi kan suara ye!
he came to me and hit me..
my head hit the wall and he slapped me. I was crying badly and covering my head and face.
And something happen that my head hit real hard on the wall,but luckily i get only a bump.
me: sakit la bodoh! ( i really didnt mean it to say those harsh words to him..i was so hurt,so in pain and all those words just blurted out.)
i move backwards and he cam closer and hit me again.serve me right for talking back..
my mum tried to stop it but end up she got the scoldings from him.
afterwards i went to pray but I can't stop sobbing. Everytime i heard his voice i would start to cry.
after praying my dad came in the room and scolded my younger sis for telling lies,cause of her my phone got smash,she got beaten too but not as bad.
i covered my ear really hard as i do not want to hear his voice.I kept on crying,i know i should be strong,but all this hitting and scolding really pressurised me.
i didnt have a good night sleep but still have to head to school..at times i feel pain in my head,but its only for a while. Glad that it was just a bump..
till now i had a hard time to even talk to him. it really do hurt me a lot,but still i have to move on as i still have a future ahead me.
Well that's all i can post for now.
Take care
~Farah~